NFL Shit Picks Season Recap + Playoff Shit Picks

FINAL REGULAR SEASON RECORD: 133-117-6, Lock of the Week 12-5, +575 units

Tucci’s NFL Playoff Record (5-6-0, -25 units)

Wildcard Round

Chiefs -3 at Texans 25 units

Steelers -2.5 at Bengals 15 units

Vikings +4.5 vs Seahawks 5 units

Redskins +1 vs Packers 15 units

Divisional Round

Patriots -5 vs Chiefs 30 units

Cardinals -7 vs Packers 25 units

Seahawks +1.5 at Panthers 5 units

Denver -6.5 vs Steelers 15 units

Conference Championship

Patriots -3.5 at Broncos 50 units

Cardinals +3 at Panthers 10 units

(Post will be updated every week)

Super Bowl

Broncos +5.5 20 units

I think Carolina will win a close one.


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NFL Week 17 Picks

Tucci’s Week 17 Picks (124-112-5, Lock of the Week 11-5, +480 units)

Saints +5.5 at Falcons 20 units

Jets -3 at Bills 15 units

Bears (Pick) vs Lions 5 units

Ravens +9 at Bengals 5 units

Steelers -10 at Browns 20 units

Redskins +3 at Cowboys 25 units

Colts -4 vs Titans 10 units

Patriots -10 at Dolphins 25 units

Eagles +3 at Giants 10 units

Jaguars +6 at Texans 20 units

Chargers +10 at Broncos 10 units

Cardinals -6 vs Seahawks 20 units

Niners +3 vs Rams 5 units

Panthers -10 vs Buccaneers 20 units

Vikings +3 at Packers 15 units

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Raidahs +6.5 at Chiefs 45 units




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NFL Week 16 Picks

Tucci’s Week 16 Picks (119-103-5, Lock of the Week 11-4, +555 units)

Raidahs -4.5 vs Chargers 5 units

Eagles -3 vs Redskins 5 units

Panthers -7 at Falcons 10 units

Bills -6.5 vs Dallas 5 units

Niners +10.5 at Lions 10 units

Browns +10.5 at Chiefs 15 units

Dolphins -2.5 vs Colts 5 units

Patriots -3 at Jets 5 units

Bears +3.5 at Buccaneers 20 units

Texans -3.5 at Titans 15 units

Jaguars +3 at Saints 15 units

Cardinals -4.5 vs Packers 10 units

Seahawks -13 vs Rams 25 units

Giants +7.5 Vikings 5 units

Broncos -3.5 vs Bengals 20 units

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Steelers -10 at Ravens 45 units


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NFL Week 15 Picks

Tucci’s Week 15 Picks (111-94-4, Lock of the Week 10-4, +510 units)

Bucanneers +1.5 at Rams 10 units

Jets -3 at Cowboys 5 units

Texans (pick) at Colts 10 units

Bears +5.5 at Vikings 25 units

Patriots -14.5 vs Titans 20 units

Giants +5 vs Panthers 5 units

Buffalo -1 at Redskins 15 units

Jaguars -3 vs Falcons 10 units

Chiefs -7 at Ravens 10 units

Packers -3 at Raiders 20 units

Denver +6 at Steelers 15 units

Miami +2 at Chargers 5 units

Niners +4.5 vs Bengals 15 units

Cardinals -3.5 at Eagles 30 units

Lions +3 at Saints 5 units

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Seahawks -14.5 vs Browns 50 units

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NFL Week 14 Picks

Tucci’s Week 14 Picks (99-91-4, Lock of the Week 9-4, +360 units)

Vikings +10 at Cardinals 20 units

Redskins +3.5 at Bears 10 units

Bills +1 at Eagles 25 units

Panthers -8 vs Falcons 20 units

Steelers +2.5 at Bengals 15 units

Niners +1.5 at Browns 15 units

Colts +2 at Jaguars 5 units

Chargers +10.5 at Chiefs 10 units

Jets -7.5 vs Titans 5 units

Rams +3.0 vs Lions 10 units

Saints +4.5 at Bucanneers 10 units

Seahawks -11.5 at Ravens 30 units

Raiders +6.5 at Broncos 5 units

Packers -5.5 vs Cowboys 25 units

Giants -2 at Miami 5 units

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Patriots -3.5 at Texans 50 units

David’s Week 14 Picks (99-91-4, Lock of the Week 8-5, +237.5 units)

Vikings +10 at Cardinals 10 units

Redskins +3.5 at Bears 10 units

Eagles -1 vs Bills 5 units

Panthers -8 vs Falcons 20 units

Bengals -2.5 vs Steelers 5 units

Niners +1.5 at Browns 10 units

Jags -2.0 vs Colts 5 units

Chargers +10.5 at Chiefs 5 units

Titans +7.5 at Jets 10 units

Rams +3.0 vs Lions 10 units

Bucs -4.5 vs Saints 5 units

Ravens +11.5 vs Seahawks 5 units

Packers -5.5 vs Cowboys 15 units

Texans +3.5 vs Patriots 5 units

Giants -2.0 at Miami 10 units

David’s Lock of the Week

Broncos -6.5 vs Raiders 30 units

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NFL Week 13 Picks

Tucci’s Week 13 Picks (94-80-4, Lock of the Week 8-4, +400 units)

Packers -2.5 at Lions 20 units

Texans +3.5 at Bills 5 units

Bears -6.5 vs Niners 5 units

Bengals -8.5 at Browns 10 units

Dolphins -3.5 vs Ravens 20 units

Vikings +2.5 vs Seahawks 10 units

Giants +2.5 vs Jets 20 units

Rams +4 vs Cardinals 5 units

Falcons (Pick) at Buccaneers 15 units

Jags +2.5 at Titans 10 units

Chiefs -3 at Raidahs 5 units

Panthers -6.5 at Saints 20 units

Patriots -7.5 vs Eagles 10 units

Colts +7.5 at Steelers 15 units

Cowboys +4 at Redskins 10 units

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Broncos -4 at Chargers 50 units

David’s Week 13 Picks (91-83-4, Lock of the Week 8-4, +222.5 units)

Packers -2.5 at Lions 15 units

Texans +3.5 at Bills 10 units

Niners +6.5 at Bears 15 units

Bengals -8.5 at Browns 5 units

Ravens +3.5 at Dolphins 10 units

Vikings +2.5 vs Seahawks 10 units

Giants +2.5 vs Jets 15 units

Cardinals -4 at Rams 5 units

Falcons (Pick) at Buccaneers 5 units

Jags +2.5 at Titans 5 units

Chiefs -3 at Raidahs 5 units

Broncos -4 at Chargers 30 units

Panthers -6.5 at Saints 10 units

Patriots -7.5 vs Eagles 20 units

Cowboys +4 at Redskins 20 units

David’s Lock of the Week

Colts +7.5 at Steelers 30 units


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NFL Week 12 Picks

Tucci’s Week 12 Picks (84-76-4, Lock of the Week 7-4, +295 units)

Eagles +2.5 at Lions 20 units

Cowboys +1 vs Panthers 5 units

Packers -7.5 vs Bears 5 units

Vikings +2.5 at Falcons 20 units

Rams +8.5 at Bengals 5 units

Texans -3 vs Saints 15 units

Colts -3 vs Buccaneers 5 units

Bills +5.5 at Chiefs 10 units

Jets -4 vs Dolphins 5 units Continue reading

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NFL Week 11 Picks

Last week was easily the worst week I’ve had all year. Almost all the dogs won outright! Vegas made bank, son. Let’s try and take some of that green back this week.

Tucci’s Week 11 Picks (78-66-4, Lock of the Week 6-4, +305 units)

Titans +3 at Jaguars 5 units

Colts +5 at Falcons 10 units

Once again, I can’t stand by the Falcons when they’re giving up more than a field goal. This team just doesn’t score as much as they should offensively, in addition to the fact that I sort of like Indianapolis a bit more with old man Hasselbeck at the helm. He’s nowhere near as skilled as Andrew Luck, but he’s also nowhere near as ballsy which is what has partially ruined Luck’s season this year. He just wasn’t taking care of the ball.

Ravens -2.5 vs Rams 5 units

This game is set perfectly. I’m almost positive this will come down to a field goal. Both of these teams are built to stop each other defensively – the Rams are an all-around defense while the Ravens haven’t allowed more than 2 games with over 100 yards rushing. St. Louis is starting Case Keenum, which should be interesting, but I still can’t imagine he’s going to annihilate a below average Ravens secondary. The Rams just don’t have the personnel to do so. I like the Ravens here, simply because they’ve been getting unlucky the entire season.

Redskins +7.5 at Panthers 10 units

Man, if I can’t win this one it’s probably the last time I’m picking against the Panthers for the rest of the season. Vegas is juicing the Skins’ line, so I like it as well as the fact that Washington just hangs around every game they play. They have an underrated defense and offense. QB Kirk Cousins isn’t bad, he’s just average, which should be good enough for them to stay within a TD.

The Skins enjoy grind out games, and this will be one of them, as Cam Newton still has no one to throw to 11 weeks into the season.

Broncos -1 at Bears 20 units

The Bears have been proving both me and David wrong in the past 4 games. Are they actually a solid team? Unfortunately, yes, meaning the Bears will probably be out of the running for a top 10 draft pick the team so desperately needs. Chicago has a fantastic coaching staff on all phases – just not the personnel to be elite. Denver will be starting that asshole from Twilight, Brock Osweiler, who has shown some stuff every time he’s got to play. He sucked last week in relief of the awful Peyton Manning, but I will give him a pass since he was thrown into the game abruptly. My one concern here is the John Fox and Adam Gase’s knowledge of the Denver system, which may make it easier to foil their elite defense and perplex the debut of Osweiler as a starter. However, I don’t believe stud WR Alshon Jeffery will be suiting up, leaving Cutler without anyone except Martellus Bennett to toss it to. If Jeffery does play, I would consider betting the other side.

Lions -1 vs Raidahs 5 units

This has trap bet written all over it. The public has to be favoring Oakland here, right? The caveat here is it’s another west-to-east game, which bodes well for the home team. Not to mention Detroit is built to a team constructed like the Raiders, who have an awful secondary. This one should be a shootout.

Jets -3 at Texans 25 units

I think the Jets are getting fantastic value here. Not only are they coming off a long week, but Houston is coming off a grind-it-out Monday Night Football affair in which they shockingly upset the formerly undefeated Bengals. There’s huge letdown potential from them after such a big win. Oh, they also came off the bye for that game as well, which always seems to make a difference. Can we really trust T.J. Yates? Revis needs to stay on Nuk Hopkins all game if the Jets want to take this one.

Dolphins +1 vs Cowboys 5 units

I don’t like this game one bit. It’s hard to get a read on the Cowboys, who have Tony Romo coming back since his injury in Week 2. Will he be rusty? Is he fully recovered? I don’t like laying money on teams with too many question marks. Stay away.

Eagles -6 vs Buccaneers 25 units

I can’t help but take the Eagles every week considering the flashes they show. As soon as Mark Sanchez stepped into the game for the oft-injured Sam Bradford, the Eagles offense looked how it did in 2014: quick throws, quick first downs, and constant red zone trips. Sanchez might be what the Eagles need right now – a QB that can actually use his legs, something Sam Bradford was never able to do. Chip Kelly’s system really favors running QBs, as the read option keeps the defense honest, opening up the passing lanes at will if run successfully.

On the other hand, I hate trusting Jameis Winston against a talented defensive front that causes turnovers. Would it shock you if he threw four picks tomorrow? Wouldn’t shock me.

Chargers +3 vs Chiefs 15 units

There’s still something stinky to me about this Chiefs team. Yes, they just destroyed the Broncos last week, but can we really put it all on Kansas City? Peyton Manning was literally handing them field position on a silver platter and the Chiefs took advantage. Also I LOVE teams off bye, especially home dogs off a bye.

Niners +13.5 at Seahawks 10 units

Another bye week team getting major points. Last week we saw Houston dismantle Cincinnati as 11 point dogs, this week I like the Niners to stay within 10 of an overrated Seahawks squad that has looked extremely beatable at home this entire season.

Cardinals -4.5 vs Bengals 5 units

We all saw what Andy Dalton looks like in a primetime game once again last week. The Red BB Gun will suck, I’m sure of it.

Bills +7.5 at Patriots 5 units

I feel the Patriots are extremely vulnerable whenever Vegas doesn’t make them double digit favorites. I think Brady will have a real tough time in the pocket this week and should throw a pick or two. Pats by 3.

Tucci’s Lock of the Week

Packers +1 at Vikings 75 units

For real, can Aaron Rodgers really lose four in a row? No way in hell. The Vikings are a great team, no doubt, but changes must’ve been made in Green Bay this week. I expect Rodgers to be dinking and dunking down the field all day in Minny. Linval Joseph and that defensive line aren’t anything to mess with, and Rodgers hopefully will get the ball out of his hands as soon as humanly possible.

David’s Week 11 Picks (71-73-4, Lock of the Week 6-4-0, +52.5 units)

Titans +3 at Jaguars 5 units

Colts +5 at Falcons 10 units

Ravens -2.5 vs Rams 15 units

Panthers -7.5 vs Redskins 30 units

Lions -1 vs Raiders 10 units

Texans +3 vs Jets 50 units

Cowboys -1 at Dolphins 5 units

Eagles -6 vs Buccaneers 35 units

Chargers +3 vs Chiefs 5 units

Packers +1 at Vikings 5 units

Niners +13.5 at Seahawks 40 units

Bengals +4.5 at Cardinals 20 units

Patriots -7.5 vs Bills 10 units

David’s Lock of the Week

Broncos -1 at Bears 70 units

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NFL Week 10 Picks

Tucci’s Week 10 Picks (74-56-4, Lock of the Week 6-3, +450 units)

Jets -2 vs Bills 5 units

Jaguars +5 at Ravens 5 units

I’m going against  a few of my personal rules with this pick. Usually, I never pick against a home team off the bye, but I’m really high on this Jags team that can really air it out, which is the Ravens biggest flaw on defense. Allen Robinson is damn near uncoverable, so I’m expecting a huge day once again from him and Bortles. This one should be decided by a field goal.

Packers -10.5 vs Lions 15 units

Whoa boy, you have to think the Packers are going to be pissed coming into this one, right? After a tough loss to the Panthers, the Packers offense should feel good against a shitty Lions defense. Despite the Lions coming off a bye, they just don’t have the personnel to cover in a game where Rodgers can potentially throw five TDs.

Eagles -6 vs Dolphins 25 units

EAGLES BABY! The birds covered last week for my 75 unit Lock pick, looking great on offense in the process. It only took 9 weeks for people to realize that Sam Bradford wasn’t the entire problem. The onus can be attributed to his slippery-handed receivers. I expect Bradford to get tons of time in the pocket once again, you just have to hope his WRs aren’t droppy as usual. The Dolphins are very run heavy under interim head coach Dan Campbell, which doesn’t bode well against an elite run-stopping Eagles defense. Eagles by 14.

Browns +5.5 at Steelers 5 units

If Josh McCown is back in the fold, I immediately feel this Browns team is undervalued by Vegas in this match up as well as this entire season. Johnny Crackhead actually looked alright as a pocket passer at times against Cincy, but I wouldn’t fully invest on the Browns unless McCown is in. Pittsburgh will be without Big Ben, so it wouldn’t shock me if DeAngelo Williams were to set the rushing record against this porous defense. But I still expect the Browns to keep it close through an aerial attack, especially with McCown. Continue reading

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NFL Week 9 Picks

Last week was predictably tough, as I finished only 5-8-1 and down 70 units (the first week I went negative on the season). This week, things are looking up and I’m a bit more confident in my picks. Go Eagles.

Tucci’s Week 9 Picks (66-51-4, Lock of the Week 5-3, +370 units)

Browns +11.5 at Bengals 5 units

Bills -3 vs Dolphins 20 units

Both teams in this one had an extended break, the Bills off a bye and the Dolphins off a Thursday contest. The Bills are getting Tyrod Taylor back, so I like them especially at home. Hopefully their defense can get back to the level it was at the beginning of the season. Miami lost arguably the best edge rusher in the game in Cam Wake last week, which should let Tyrod Taylor get more opportunities to make plays with his feet.

Rams +1 at Vikings 10 units

The entire game depends on the Rams’ run blocking. Akin to LSU, the Rams place the entire offense on the shoulders of its running back, rookie stud Todd Gurley. The Vikings have a tough defense, especially at home, but I can’t see them constantly stopping Gurley in this one. However, if they do get into the backfield, the Rams will have a lot of trouble putting points on the board and will likely lose the game.

Patriots -14 vs Redskins 20 units

Fuck it, this Pats offense is just too on fire to bet against. The Skins seem to take an epic journey every time they reach the end zone, and I just don’t like the idea of Kirk Cousins having to drop back 55 times in a game. Pats by 17.

Titans +7.5 at Saints 5 units

I hate betting on new coaching staffs, but you have to think the Titans are going to make at least a marginal improvement, right? They were pretty boring offensively ever since Marcus Mariota’s four-touchdown debut. The Saints have a Swiss cheese defense, so I like the Titans to stay within a score here.

Jaguars +8 at Jets 15 units

I love teams off the bye. The Jets defense was dismantled by a pass-heavy Raidahs offense, and the Jags are structured similarly. Jets QB Ryan Fitzpatrick has a tear in his non-throwing hand, which can negatively affect things for the Jets as well. Continue reading

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